Hoodies
Shop our full lineup of Awkward Chicken Wear hoodies — bold graphics, cozy fits, and zero filter. Whether you're gifting, lounging, or making a statement, we've got the perfect pullover for you.
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If You Don’t Have a Chimney I’m Coming in Your Backdoor Hoodie - Sand
No chimney? Apparently Santa has an alternative entrance. 🎅😂 This hilarious “If You Don’t Have a Chimney, I’m Coming in Your Backdoor” hoodie takes Christmas humor straight into naughty territory. Featuring a mischievous Santa graphic and a cheeky double entendre, this sweatshirt is perfect...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Sand
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Maroon
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Bang Local Dads Hoodie - Military Green
Support your community. Bang Local Dads. 😂 This hilarious BLD – Bang Local Dads hoodie combines a clean, outdoorsy badge-style design with a completely inappropriate punchline. At first glance it looks like a legitimate local club or outdoor brand—then people read the fine print....- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Military Green
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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You Ain’t Getting Shit Christmas Hoodie - Graphite Heather
Santa has checked his list, and unfortunately the verdict is in: You Ain’t Getting Shit! 🎅😂 This hilarious Christmas hoodie features a vintage-style Santa giving a thumbs-up alongside the bold “You Ain’t Getting Shit” message. It’s festive, sarcastic, and just inappropriate enough to make...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Graphite Heather
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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He Knows When You're Sleeping Hoodie - Sport Grey
He knows when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. And suddenly that Christmas song sounds a whole lot creepier. 🎄🔪😂 This hilarious “He Knows When You’re Sleeping, He Knows When You’re Awake” hoodie puts a horror-inspired twist on a classic Christmas lyric. Featuring...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Sport Grey
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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White
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Sagging but Still Gagging Hoodie - Sand
Things might be sagging, but the attitude is still going strong. 😂 This hilarious “Sagging But Still Gagging” hoodie is made for anyone who refuses to let a little aging interfere with their inappropriate sense of humor. Featuring a playful graphic and bold saying,...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Sand
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Ash
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Sport Grey
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White
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Merry Christmas Assholes Hoodie - Maroon
Spread Christmas cheer—with absolutely no filter. 🎅😂 This hilarious “Merry Christmas Assholes” hoodie features a grumpy vintage-style Santa giving a not-so-festive hand gesture. It’s the perfect combination of classic Christmas imagery and inappropriate adult humor for anyone who’s feeling festive but still sarcastic. Perfect...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Maroon
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Captain Save-A-Hoe Hoodie - Black
Not all heroes wear capes. Some apparently specialize in saving hoes. 😂 This hilarious “Captain Save-A-Hoe” hoodie features a bold distressed emblem with an oversized S centerpiece for a funny superhero-style look. It’s sarcastic, inappropriate, and made for anyone who has earned a reputation...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Black
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Ash
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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You Ain’t Getting Shit Christmas Hoodie - Irish Green
Santa checked the list, checked it twice, and the verdict is in: you ain’t getting shit. 🎅😂 This hilarious “You Ain’t Getting Shit” Christmas hoodie features a grumpy, tattooed Santa graphic with a bold vintage-inspired look. It’s the perfect holiday sweatshirt for anyone who...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Irish Green
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry Hoodie – I’m Going In Dry Christmas Hoodie - Dark Heather
Santa’s coming to town—but this Christmas message definitely isn’t family-friendly. 🎅😂 This hilarious “You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry, You Better Not Scream, I’m Going In Dry!!!” hoodie takes a familiar holiday phrase and gives it a wildly inappropriate adult twist. Featuring...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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White
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Suck My Cock Hoodie - Ash
Farm humor just got a whole lot less innocent. 🐓😂 This “Suck My Cock” T-shirt pairs a bold rooster graphic with an unapologetically inappropriate double meaning. The simple design makes the joke impossible to miss and perfect for anyone who enjoys chicken humor with...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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Everything Is A Dildo If You're Brave Enough Hoodie - Ash
Life is all about perspective—and apparently bravery. 🌵😂 This hilarious “Everything Is a Dildo If You’re Brave Enough” hoodie pairs a cheeky adult saying with a colorful cactus-inspired graphic. It’s bold, inappropriate, and perfect for anyone who loves outrageous humor and isn’t afraid to...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Sport Grey
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White
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You Should See the Size of My Sack Hoodie - Ash
Santa’s got a big sack—and apparently he wants everyone to know about it. 🎅😂 This hilarious “You Should See the Size of My Sack” hoodie combines classic Christmas imagery with an unmistakably naughty double meaning. Featuring a mischievous Santa graphic, it’s the perfect holiday...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Sport Grey
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White
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Carolina Blue
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Tis The Season To Be Naughty Hoodie - Dark Heather
Forget being nice—it’s way more fun being naughty. 🎄😏 This playful “’Tis the Season to Be Naughty” hoodie features a cheeky gingerbread character and a festive holiday design that adds a little grown-up humor to Christmas. It’s cute, mischievous, and perfect for anyone who...- From $40.00
- From $40.00
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Dark Heather
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Ash
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Sport Grey
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White
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Suck Your Own Titties Funny Cow Hoodie - Deep Pink
🐄😂 SUCK YOUR OWN TITTIES!Cute cow, questionable advice, and absolutely no filter! This hilarious "Suck Your Own Titties" hoodie combines an adorable cow graphic with bold adult humor for a sweatshirt guaranteed to get laughs and double takes.The bright pink color makes the design...- $45.00
- $45.00
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Deep Pink
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Red
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Gray
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White
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You May Not Judge Me Funny Hoodie - Butter
⚖️😂 "You may not judge me!"Bring some courtroom attitude to your wardrobe with this hilarious judge-inspired graphic. Featuring a bold "You May Not Judge Me" design, this shirt is perfect for anyone who loves courtroom humor, sarcastic sayings, and clothing that gets a laugh.Available...- $45.00
- $45.00
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Butter
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Faded Bone
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Orchid
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Deep Pink
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I Work Hard So My GSP Can Have a Better Life Hoodie - Navy
You work hard, pay the bills, and somehow your dog is still the one living the good life. 🐾😂 This fun “I Work Hard So My GSP Can Have a Better Life” hoodie is made for devoted German Shorthaired Pointer owners who know exactly...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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White
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Black
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And There It Goes My Last Flying Fuck Hoodie - Ash
And there it goes… my last flying fuck. 🐕💨😂 This hilarious hoodie features a hunting dog taking off at full speed with the perfectly sarcastic saying “And There It Goes… My Last Flying Fuck.” It’s the ultimate combination of dog-lover humor, hunting-dog energy, and...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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Without Being An Asshole Hoodie - Dark Heather
This relaxed-fit hooded sweatshirt carries a bold, tongue-in-cheek statement across the chest in clean, high-contrast lettering — a wearable wink for people who value sharp humor and honest vibes. Built from a soft 50/50 cotton-poly blend with a double-lined, color-matched hood and roomy kangaroo...- From $49.66
- From $49.66
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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Black
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Smells Like Slut In Here Hoodie - Ash
Make an entrance without saying a word. 😂 This “Smells Like Slut In Here” hoodie is made for anyone with a bold sense of humor and absolutely no interest in keeping things subtle. The simple black statement design gives this sweatshirt a clean look...- $50.00
- $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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I Hate Being Sexy Hoodie - Ash
For the guy who knows the beard, the belly, and the confidence are all part of the package. 😂 This funny “I Hate Being Sexy But I’m a Chubby Bearded Man So I Can’t Help It” shirt is made for proud bearded guys who...- From $42.50
- From $42.50
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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On My Way to the Genderless Bathroom Hoodie - Ash
Make your bathroom plans perfectly clear with this hilarious “On My Way to the Genderless Bathroom to Take a She/It.” hoodie. 😂 Perfect for anyone who appreciates edgy humor, clever wordplay, and shirts that are guaranteed to get a second look. Whether you’re hanging...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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It’s OK I’m on 500mg of Fuckitol Hoodie - Ash
When life gets ridiculous, sometimes you just need a stronger dose of Fuckitol. 😂💊 This hilarious “It’s OK, I’m on 500mg of Fuckitol and an 800mg of Kissmyass” hoodie is made for anyone who has officially run out of patience. Featuring bold statement lettering...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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Enjoy Cock Hoodie - Ash
Sometimes you just have to enjoy the simple things in life. 😏😂 This bold “Enjoy Cock” hoodie features a cheeky retro-inspired script design that turns a familiar-looking graphic style into an unapologetically adult joke. Simple, eye-catching, and definitely not subtle, this sweatshirt is made...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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I See Your Butthole Hoodie - Ash
Chickens have absolutely no respect for personal boundaries. 🐔😂 This hilarious “I See Your Butthole – Ohhh Wait, Is That a Worm?” hoodie features a curious chicken investigating something it probably shouldn’t. It’s the perfect mix of farm humor, inappropriate comedy, and classic chicken...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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My Beard Is Hair From Your Legs Hoodie - Ash
Now that’s one way to explain where a great beard comes from. 🧔😂 This hilarious “My Beard Is Hair From Your Legs” hoodie combines classic beard pride with a cheeky adult double meaning. Featuring a bold beard graphic and statement lettering, it’s perfect for...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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I Need to Stop Talking to Myself Hoodie - Ash
Ever have a conversation with yourself and realize you’re probably the problem? 😂 This hilarious “I Need to Stop Talking to Myself, That Fucker Is a Bad Influence” hoodie is perfect for anyone whose inner voice consistently comes up with questionable ideas. Featuring bold...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt Hoodie - Ash
Consider this your hilariously inappropriate anatomy lesson. 😂 This bold “You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt” hoodie delivers an unforgettable statement in a vintage-inspired badge design. Simple, funny, and definitely intended for adults, this sweatshirt is perfect for anyone who loves outrageous...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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A Girl Without a Bush Hoodie - Ash
Every angel deserves her wings. 😇😂 This hilarious “A Girl Without a Bush Is Like an Angel Without Its Wings” hoodie combines an innocent-looking inspirational quote with a very adult punchline. The clean typography keeps the design simple and wearable, while the cheeky message...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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Bad Decisions Raccoon Pool Hoodie - Ash
Who needs luck when you can make bad decisions with complete confidence? 🎱🦝😂 This hilarious “It’s Not Luck, It’s Bad Decisions Executed Confidently” hoodie features a mischievous raccoon lining up a shot on the pool table. Combining chaotic raccoon energy with sarcastic billiards humor,...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Sport Grey
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White
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Carolina Blue
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Free Protein Shake Hoodie - Ash
Need a little extra protein in your life? This hoodie has a suggestion. 😂 This hilarious “Free Protein Shake” hoodie features bold lettering inside a large downward-pointing arrow for a joke that definitely isn’t about your post-workout smoothie. Simple, suggestive, and guaranteed to get...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
