Best Sellers
The crowd favorites. Shop our best-selling apparel at Awkward Chicken Wear, the styles that customers keep coming back for. If you're not sure where to start, start here.
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Swallow Baby Don't Spit Fishing Hoodie - Ash
Some advice is better left unsaid—but it’s definitely funnier on a hoodie. 😂 This hilarious “Swallow Baby! Don’t Spit” hoodie features bold, colorful lettering paired with a cheeky graphic for an unmistakably adult punchline. It’s playful, inappropriate, and made for anyone who believes their...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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White
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Black
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Sucks to Suck Hoodie - Ash
Sometimes there’s nothing left to say except… sucks to suck. 😂 This hilarious “Sucks to Suck” hoodie features a colorful retro-inspired sunset graphic with bold lettering and a cheeky visual twist. The vintage rainbow aesthetic gives it a fun throwback look, while the sarcastic...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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I Wanna Count the Wrinkles on Your Stink Star Hoodie - Ash
Some pickup lines are romantic. This definitely isn’t one of them. ⭐😂 This hilarious “I Wanna Count the Wrinkles on Your Stink Star” hoodie combines an outrageous adult saying with a funny retro-style character and starfish graphic. It’s weird, inappropriate, and guaranteed to make...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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Suck Your Own Titties T-Shirt - Light Blue
Cute cow. Wild attitude. Absolutely zero filter. 🐄😂 This hilarious “Suck Your Own Titties” T-shirt features a playful black-and-white cow graphic paired with an unapologetically inappropriate saying. It’s the perfect combination of farm humor and adult comedy for anyone who loves shirts that get...- From $25.00
- From $25.00
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Light Blue
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Navy
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Red
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Royal
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Suck Your Own Titties Hoodie - Ash
Sometimes the best advice is the advice nobody asked for. 🐄😂 This hilarious “Suck Your Own Titties” hoodie features a playful cartoon cow graphic paired with a bold, unapologetically inappropriate saying. The cute farm-style artwork mixed with raunchy adult humor makes this sweatshirt perfect...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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Ratchet Ass Hoe Hoodie - Ash
When your sense of humor is a little ratchet, this hoodie says it all. 😂 This hilarious “Ratchet Ass Hoe” hoodie uses tool graphics—a ratchet and a hoe—to create the perfect visual pun. Bold, ridiculous, and just inappropriate enough, it’s a great choice for...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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Sport Grey
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Sorry Princess I Only Date Women Who Might Stab Me Hoodie - Ash
Sorry, princess—apparently sweet and innocent just isn’t the type. 😂🔪 This hilarious “Sorry Princess, I Only Date Women Who Might Stab Me” hoodie is made for anyone who considers a few red flags part of the attraction. Featuring bold white lettering and a straightforward...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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Pussy So Good, Santa Came Twice Hoodie - Ash
Apparently Santa enjoyed his first visit so much, he had to come back for seconds. 🎅😂 This hilarious “Pussy So Good Santa Came Twice” hoodie brings some seriously naughty humor to the holiday season. Featuring a festive Santa graphic surrounded by Christmas details and...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Maroon
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Navy
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You Ain't Gettin' Sh!t for Christmas T-Shirt - White
Looks like somebody landed on Santa’s naughty list this year. 🎅😂 This hilarious “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas!!!” T-shirt features a retro-style Santa graphic in classic red and green holiday colors. It’s festive, sarcastic, and perfect for anyone who thinks Christmas could use...- From $25.00
- From $25.00
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White
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Charcoal
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Light Blue
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Navy
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You Ain’t Getting Shit Santa T-Shirt - Irish Green
Santa checked the list twice…and the answer is still NO. 🎅😂 This hilarious “You Ain’t Getting Shit” Santa T-shirt features a grumpy, no-nonsense Santa holding up his hand with a bold holiday message. It’s the perfect Christmas tee for anyone who prefers their holiday...- From $25.00
- From $25.00
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Irish Green
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Red
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Sport Grey
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White
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Cream Pies Matter Long Sleeve Shirt - Black
Some things are simply too important to ignore. Cream Pies Matter. 😂 This hilarious “Cream Pies Matter” long-sleeve shirt features bold black typography with a simple, attention-grabbing design. It looks straightforward at first glance, but the cheeky double meaning makes it perfect for adults...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Black
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Red
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Royal
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White
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Multiple Orgasm Donor Hoodie - Ash
Some people donate blood. Some donate their time. Others have a much more specialized talent. 😂 This hilarious “Multiple Orgasm Donor” hoodie features a medical-inspired symbol paired with bold lettering for a clean design with a seriously naughty punchline. It looks almost official from...- From $50.00
- From $50.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Navy
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White
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Multiple Orgasm Donor Long Sleeve Shirt - Red
Some people donate blood. Some donate their time. Others have a much more specialized way of giving back. 😂 This hilarious “Multiple Orgasm Donor” long-sleeve shirt features a medical-inspired symbol with bold lettering for a clean design with a very naughty punchline. At first...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Red
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Royal
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White
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Black
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Multiple Orgasm Donor Crewneck Sweatshirt - Dark Heather
Some people donate blood. Others apparently have a much more specialized talent. 😂 This hilarious “Multiple Orgasm Donor” crewneck sweatshirt features a medical-inspired symbol paired with a bold adult punchline. The clean, simple design looks almost professional at first glance—until people actually read what...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Dark Heather
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Heliconia
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Irish Green
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Light Blue
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Sorry Princess I Only Date Women Who Might Stab Me Long Sleeve Shirt - Dark Heather
Forget the fairy-tale princess—apparently danger is more your type. 😂🔪 This hilarious “Sorry Princess, I Only Date Women Who Might Stab Me” long-sleeve shirt is made for anyone whose dating preferences lean a little more chaotic than charming. The bold, straightforward typography keeps the...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Dark Heather
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Red
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Royal
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White
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A Girl Without a Bush Crewneck Sweatshirt - Ash
Every angel deserves her wings. 😇😂 This hilarious “A Girl Without a Bush Is Like an Angel Without Its Wings” crewneck sweatshirt combines a clean, minimalist look with a wildly inappropriate adult punchline. The simple typography makes the design look innocent from a distance—until...- From $40.00
- From $40.00
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Ash
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Dark Chocolate
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Heliconia
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Irish Green
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You Can't Make a Baby in the Butt T-Shirt - Irish Green
Consider this the funniest biology lesson you’ll wear all year. 😂 This hilarious “You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt” T-shirt features a bold vintage-inspired badge design with an unapologetically inappropriate punchline. Simple, funny, and guaranteed to make people read it twice, this...- From $25.00
- From $25.00
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Irish Green
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Light Blue
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Navy
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Purple
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Cute But Psycho Crewneck Sweatshirt - Ash
Sweet, spooky, and just a little psycho. 🔪💀 This “Cute But Psycho” crewneck sweatshirt combines a colorful retro horror graphic with the perfect warning for anyone whose cute side comes with a darker edge. The bold artwork gives off vintage slasher-movie vibes, making this...- From $40.00
- From $40.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Heliconia
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Light Blue
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You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt Long Sleeve Shirt - Light Pink
A little humor, a little biology, and absolutely no subtlety. 😂 This hilarious “You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt” long-sleeve shirt features a bold vintage-inspired badge design with a punchline that’s guaranteed to make people do a double take. It’s the perfect...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Light Pink
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Red
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Royal
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White
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You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt Crewneck Sweatshirt - Dark Heather
Consider this your hilariously inappropriate biology lesson for the day. 😂 This “You Can’t Make a Baby in the Butt” crewneck sweatshirt features a bold vintage-inspired badge design paired with a cheeky adult punchline. It’s simple, funny, and guaranteed to make people stop and...- From $40.00
- From $40.00
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Dark Heather
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Heliconia
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Irish Green
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Light Blue
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Beaver Valley Long Sleeve Shirt - Dark Heather
Some people dream about tropical beaches. Others know exactly where they belong—Beaver Valley. 🦫😂 This “There’s No Place I’d Rather Be Than Beaver Valley” long-sleeve shirt combines a vintage outdoor-inspired badge with a cheeky double meaning. At first glance, it looks like a classic...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Dark Heather
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Red
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Royal
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White
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Good Cooter Long Sleeve Shirt - Light Blue
Keep it casual, comfortable, and just inappropriate enough to make people look twice. 😂 This “Good Cooter” long-sleeve shirt features a playful minimalist graphic paired with a cheeky phrase that delivers plenty of adult humor without an overly complicated design. From a distance it...- From $30.00
- From $30.00
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Light Blue
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Red
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Royal
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White
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Good Cooter T-Shirt - Irish Green
Sometimes you don’t need a lot of words to get your point across. 😂 This hilarious “Good Cooter” T-shirt features a cheeky line-art graphic with hands forming a playful gesture and a simple handwritten-style slogan underneath. It’s subtle enough to make people look twice,...- From $25.00
- From $25.00
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Irish Green
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Light Blue
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Navy
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Red
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Good Cooter Crewneck Sweatshir - Ash
A little country style, a little inappropriate humor, and a whole lot of personality. 🤠😂 This “Good Cooter” crewneck sweatshirt features a playful cowboy-inspired line-art graphic paired with a cheeky phrase that’s guaranteed to earn a few double takes. The simple black design gives...- From $35.00
- From $35.00
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Ash
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Dark Heather
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Heliconia
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Irish Green
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Don't Be a Twatwaffle Funny Skinny Tumbler
Deliver a massive dose of attitude hidden behind pure cuteness with this hilarious "Don't Be A Twatwaffle" Skinny Tumbler and many other sayings. Masterfully pairing adorable cartoon characters with brutally funny, offensive slang insults, this travel mug is designed for those who love high-tier...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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Be Kind To Your Ass Retro 70s Skinny Tumbler
Spread a little peace, love, and hilarious self-care advice with this groovy "Be Kind To Your Ass" Skinny Tumbler! Masterfully masking a cheeky, sarcastic message behind a sweet 1970s flower power aesthetic, this travel mug is the ultimate reminder to give yourself a break...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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Fuck Everything Neon Skinny Tumbler
Express your ultimate mood without saying a single word with this hilarious "Fuck Everything" Skinny Tumbler! Perfectly combining a vibrant, colorful neon paint aesthetic with a bold, unfiltered message, this travel mug is designed for those days when you've officially reached your limit with...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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Boob Pattern Skinny Tumbler
Celebrate body positivity and all shapes and sizes with a touch of fun using this unique Boob Pattern Skinny Tumbler! Featuring a modern, continuous line-art pattern showcasing diverse forms of breast art, this travel mug perfectly balances a minimalist aesthetic with cheeky, lighthearted adult...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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Cocktus Funny Cactus Skinny Tumbler
Add a hilarious, prickly twist to your daily hydration with this naughty "Cocktus" Skinny Tumbler! Masterfully blending a trendy desert houseplant aesthetic with unmistakable adult humor, this travel mug features a seamless pattern of cartoon cacti shaped like adult anatomy. It makes the absolute...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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Eat Me Funny Adult Humor Skinny Tumbler
Serve up your drinks with a massive side of playful, mature humor with this hilarious "Eat Me" Bag of Dicks Skinny Tumbler! Featuring a cheeky, continuous pattern of cartoon take-out bags bursting with adult-themed goodies, this travel mug is designed for those who appreciate...- $20.00
$25.00- $20.00
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